Sometimes I wonder if i'll ever be as important...

I Wish I Could Touch You Again.

I miss the way your hand felt in mine and the way you held me. Just thinking about your hands around me gets my heart started. I know we did nothing really, you just held me, but it felt so nice to be held and to have someone really pay attention to me. You used to talk to me about anything and we use to share our desires and lives with each other. I wish that hadn't changed; that stupid day changed so much about the way we talk and the way we interact. I don't know why, you use to say you wanted to hang out, go out for drinks but now i can barely get you to have a meaningful or enjoyable conversation with me. I just want to have the old relationship we had back, i just want a friend; I need a friend.

Current Situation

So I find my self in a strange situation these days with feelings that are ALL over the board, and I'm not sure what to do with them. I want so badly to be in love with A man who thinks that I am the woman he wants and is supposed to spend the rest of his life with. I want so much for someone to love me unconditionally, to love me more than video games or beer, to think i'm more important than a night out with his friends and simply want to just spend time with me; someone to love me the way a wife and friend should be loved! But I am not sure if I am capable of receving such love, I feel so broken and so uncared for; so unimportant and un-needed. I want to be married and share in that loving commitment but I am not sure if i beleive in that anymore. I have so much hurt and pain in my heart from so much loss, whether it be death or simply someone walking out, I find it hard to belive that anyone will stay with me. I feel I am too broken, too screwed up to be loved and cherished. Seeking love in all the wrong places, -- LG -- (Little Girl)

Delusion; It's whats for dinner

The Perfect Match Book Review

Alrighty, So I made a new years resolution to read more books this year. The first book i read was The Perfect Match by Dr. Kevin Leman who also wrote The Birth Order Book. The Perfect Match Is a book abut finding and keeping the love of your life based on birth order. He has me pegged as a middle child with first born tendencies, it was great to see him pin point each one of my sisters and my parents based on their birth order and personality. It was also really insightful to see the areas he wanted people to pay special attention to when seeking your life mate. The most important part I read was when he said you need to pay special attention to how your future possible mate views and treats their family member of the opposite sex. Here is a list of some of my favorite quotes:

"Taking off your clothes does not develop this kind of intimacy, such closeness comes only from taking off your masks and truly sharing your hearts and lives with each other"

"You can tell how passionate a person is without seeing him/her naked"

Here he quotes another author about the level of a couples ambitions.

"When their levels of ambitions are similar, it can bond them together as they strive to reach their goals and achieve their dreams"

And one of my favorites:

"You've got to consider how well this person will fit into your life emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, financially, as a parent to your children and as a son-in-law or daughter-in-law to your parents. These judgments take time."

All in all, I thought this was an excellently written book. I thought he did an excellent job of highlighting the important similarities a couple should have as well as where it's good to be complete opposites. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is looking to get married, or who is already married and is looking for an insight into their partners mind!

As The White Curtain Falls...

I have been through a lot in the past 2 years; I lost my Dad, my Grandpa and my mom was diagnosed with cancer to just a name a few of the bigger life events. However, from this point forward i am choosing to simply take life as it comes, walk through it one day at a time and make the most of what God has given me (which i am not going to lie, has been A LOT more than i deserve). I am excited for where God is taking me, He has given me a wonderful job where I am currently the youngest supervisor working towards being the youngest manager. I am going to be taking this blog to just share my thoughts as the days go by. If you don't like them, don't read 'em! it's that simple! There will be no real theme or focus just a bunch of thoughts and photographs to help me work through all my minds wandering thoughts.